In discussing the negative image of parents who push their child, and the child’s teacher;what no one has talked about is the possibility of a zero sum game here.
When any parent asks for more help with homework, or more of any kind of help from their teacher, this can result in less time for the other 20 or more children. Where class sizes are smaller in fee paying schools, the zero sum game has less effect. Indeed, smaller class sizes is one of the most important things one is paying for.
Where class sizes are larger, and they can be in state schools, the effect is greater. The worst scenario is when two classes are put into one, in a crisis.
Realism in parents includes an awareness of all this. Of course one can now argue that any help given by a parent at home does not have this effect, as there are no other children present. But even here there is a problem. Not all parents have the time, the inclination, the ability to help their own children at home. Indeed some research has shown that some few parents have had such a bad experience at their schools that they undermine the school to their own children. Realism required again.
None of this is to suggest that parents should not do all they can for their own child. The really tricky thing is to work out how the positive effects on their own child can help others in the classroom.
So, what to do? Are there experts out there who have considered this problem? I cannot help!